Category Archives: PS4

Days of Gratitude 5

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So it turned out I succumbed to the demons of procrastination with my latest ‘days of gratitude’ collection.

Not unlike most projects I start, I never fully committed to the idea, but my general aim was to go with 7 days (I didn’t dare dream of completing them 7 days in a row) of one thing I’m grateful for.

So now, on the 5th ‘day’, since I neglected the subject, I’ll list not one, but  LOTS of things I’m grateful for today. I’ll force my indecisive mind to focus on as many possible and why.

So I’ll commence with

Life

The most obvious blessing, is that of Being. Not just alive on this beautiful planet, but  alive with the energy we are made of, too.

Buzzing with electricity at every moment, creating those moments with that electricity, back and forth, in an infinite track of energy.

Utilising and expelling that energy into an existence, a soul, life on a planet, life on this planet, a human (or any form of being), a cell, a molecule, an atom, a particle, a photon, a quark…. and back out as energy all over again.

I am so friggin grateful to be alive. It’s truly an honour to be blessed with this experience.

My Dad

My Papa is my ultimate hero. My rock in life. The endless support he offers me is amazing. More than amazing. He is a knight in a shining armour of lightimage

The sky And trees, so we can breathe.

The ability to transmute thoughts into energy and form, whether processing an idea to create our own reality, or putting words on to paper and writing something new.

The ability to speak, see, walk and feel. I love that I can feel other people’s energy.

The prospect of having a child. Yep, I said prospect. To bring a being into this world and raise and protect it, to mould the way to a fantastic person, who could almost definitely change the world, in one way or another. To have that BOND, that human connective sense. That to me seems like an exciting prospect.

Hoodies, tracky bottoms, gaming, Destiny 😑… the immersive world of video games is a reality within, and upon itself. Existing within the 3D Earth, viewable to us through monitors, hooked up to.. electricity.

And finally (today)

For waking up..  today in my bed, and everyday my mind to how Earth is being manipulated by the few, at the detrement of the many (and the planet herself). And love. And everything that comes with it.

Peace.

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5 fulfilling fings I gone and done in 5 weeks

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Once again the demon of procrastination has embedded itself into my being, writhing at my fingertips, convincing me that creativity exists but only as an impervious venture.

Through its relentless clutches I’ve yet again withdrawn from writing, or even drafting. Not one word has reached the paper (or screen) in the past six weeks or more, and I’m left feeling oppressed, indisposed and unfulfilled.

Or, I’ve just been a lazy twat again. Either way, my Hippy Van has been neglected, as has my poor cerebrum.

So where has this hippy been? Fighting the crime of injustice in the streets of LC? Standing up for human rights at various protests across the country? Offering my spare time to aid those less fortunate…?

Alas, I’m afraid to admit, only within the confines of my mind-computer. Another way to describe it would be in my daydreams. But I’m confident my self-discernment will allow me to progress sooner rather than later. Though one could argue that’s been my hope for quite some time now.

But I do have some things to bring to the table, which I’ve engaged in during my time AWOL. Bare with me, as I think when such activities/experiences finally evolve to their destined fruition, my absence will have been felicitous and righteous.

So, you gorgeous strangers who have given your precious time to read this, here are 5 constructive things I’ve done in the past 5 weeks:

1. Stopped smoking weed

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Byebye smokey laundry day 😦

That’s right, I finally broke up with Mary Jane. I’m clean 4 weeks yesterday and some of that misty, nebulous mind-fog is starting to clear. Replaced by an incandescent gleam, one that I’d almost forgotten could exist.

Don’t get me wrong, Mary Jane is the one true love of my life and I miss her dearly everyday…. but for now at least, I have to steer clear. SKUNK bares too much restriction upon the intellectual capacity (and I did miss that part of myself). Also, it was neccessary to clear my head for a while in preparation of number 2, which is…

2. Done training for volunteering

It took a few weeks to complete, but hopefully from next week I’ll be spending my two spare days a week helping ‘disengaged’ youngsters gain some qualifications and self belief. To be honest, I am struggling as to whether I’ll be able to support them fully with entering the ‘world of work’, since I’m so disillusioned by the entire system… but my greatest intention is to instill some confidence and self belief into them. Make them remember (or in some cases, realise) that they have worth. That the world is a place they can fit in and be accepted, despite what (fucked up) past issues may have contributed to their lack of self worth.

3. Rebuilt the bridges with my BFF

The Yin to my Yang, we fell apart a little since 2015 hit. But neither of us really left each other, and now we’re stronger than we ever were. And I can finally function again.

4. Revealed my darkest, lifelong secret

To my BFF, the only person I’ve ever divulged this information to. And what a huge weight off my shoulders… to sum up, some bad shit happened when I was very young that I repressed for almost 25 years. Now I feel I can breathe far easier.

5. Almost reached level 32 in Destiny

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OK, so the last one isn’t that constructive (depending on your perspective)… but I have met some great new people within the social spaces, improved my confidence making new friends and unlocked some awesome new gear… which I’m extremely grateful for.

Of course, the PS4 merely serves as a distraction from the despondency that I felt was my life… rather than let lame reality encroach me any further, I made an impulse purchase and immersed myself within a virtual reality… but then, who says what is ‘reality’, anyway?

I’m pleased to say, just writing this has created a fresh perspective on my ‘life’… deep breath in, equally deep breath out.

Namaste, and peace to you all. ✌:)

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